Happy International Podcast Day!
If you know me, you know I love podcasts, and I love John and Julie Gottman (founders of the The Gottman Institute for relationships and coauthors of several books, including my favorite, The Seven Principles for Making a Relationship Work, and the more recent Eight Dates.)
You can never go wrong listening to what the Gottman’s have to say, so for #InternationalPodcastDay, I thought I’d recommend three podcasts featuring interviews with the Gottmans.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
“Experts on Expert: John Gottman”
I’ve mentioned in other posts that one of my all-time favorite interviews with John Gottman is one he did with Dax Shepard on Armchair Expert in 2019. They talk about how crucial a father’s role is in child-raising, and talk about the “four horsemen of the (relationship) apocalypse: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. I always remember the first time I listened to this podcast, being intrigued to learn that John Gottman actually takes notes when he and his wife discuss hard topics, to help him be less defensive! There’s so much in this episode -- well worth the listen!
The GOOP Podcast
“Why Certain Relationships Work”
This was a really lovely conversation between GOOP staffer Elise Loehnen and John and Julie Gottman in early 2020. One of the topics they hit on was the idea of “perpetual problems.” These are problems that some couples are probably never going to solve because they center on certain fundamental differences in personalities to lifestyle needs. But even though these problems will come up repeatedly, if you have ways to discuss them, they don’t need to mean the end of the relationship.
Unlocking Us
“Brené with Drs. John and Julie Gottman on What Makes Love Last”
This was a super fun conversation where John and Julie Gottman tell the origin story of their marriage (it was a second marriage for both of them, and they met by chance at a coffee shop called “The Pony Expresso!”) This interview feels particularly resonant because it happened in February, 2021, almost a year into the Coronavirus pandemic, and they talk about “The Four Horsemen” in that context. According to John Gottman, the Four Horsemen are like the fault lines that lie under the surface of a relationship -- and the pandemic could act like an earthquake, exposing those fault lines and cracking them open wider! Despite this -- it’s an uplifting conversation that emphasizes the joy of cultivating relationships based in friendship with and appreciation for another person, even when they are imperfect and different from you!
So check out one or all of these podcasts. And, while you’re at it, take time to check out the Gottman’s own podcast, Small Things Often! You’ll be entertained and educated -- and they might even help improve your relationships!
