Am I Worried, Anxious or Stressed? And What's the Difference?
“I’m anxious, or stressed… or just super worried. Or are they all the same thing?”, a friend asked me recently.
Many of us used these words interchangeably, but they are different, The New York Times had a great article that addressed this. I’m recapping some of the basic ideas from the article, and adding a few more!
Worry
Worry is a cognitive act — it’s when we think about uncertain outcomes – dwelling on negative aspects and things that could go wrong. It happens in the mind, rather than in the body.
Worrying, or thinking about an uncertain or unpleasant situation, can have a positive function. Worrying about an overdue bill we haven’t paid or a test we haven’t studied for can cause us to problem solve or take some action, which is good. What’s not good is when our minds “get stuck” dwelling on problems for too long in a non-productive way.
What should you do to keep from getting caught in a worry-spiral?
Become aware you are worrying. Awareness is always the first step!
Push yourself to either take some action or problem solve until you have a next step. Once you’ve noticed you’re worried about something, see if you can solve or mitigate the source of the worry. If you can pay the overdue bill, do so. One less thing to worry about! But if you don’t have the money, think about some next steps: Can you explain the situation and ask for an extension? Ask for overtime at work? Any action – even just deciding on a future course of action, can help decrease worry.
Give yourself a limited worry budget. This is an amount of time you’re allowed to worry about a problem, whether that’s five minutes or twenty. After that, consciously redirect your thoughts to other things.
Write your worries down. According to the article, 8-10 minutes of writing can help calm obsessive thoughts. Later, you can come back to your worry list and determine which can be helped with action, and which are beyond your control.
Stress
We feel stress in our bodies—it’s a physiological response to an external event, or “stressor.” Whether that event is being chased by a bear in the woods, a medical test, or reprimanded by our boss at work, the limbic system responds to the “threat” by releasing adrenaline and cortisol, causing our heart rate to elevate, breath to become shallower and blood to flow away from our internal organs to our extremities.
It’s the classic “fight-or-flight” response, which serves a functional purpose when it is temporary, or “acute.” It works for you if you can outrun the bear, or rush the report to your boss and then decompress, allowing those stress hormones to fall back to their normal levels. But stress doesn’t work for you if it becomes “chronic.” When bodies stay in fight-or-flight mode for extended periods of time, it can lead to health problems like digestive issues, heart disease and a weakened immune system.
What to do?
Become aware you are experiencing stress.
Exercise. This is the natural way to let your body use that adrenaline and cortisol
Meditate. Meditation is another proven method to help lower cortisol. If you are stuck in a situation, take some big belly breaths and consciously focus on relaxing tension in your body.
Get clear on what you can and can’t control. Again, this might involve making a list! Then you can focus your energies. Work on solving the problems you can. If something is truly out of your control, let it go. It might help to cross it out on your list!
Anxiety
Anxiety is an emotional response that involves both mind and body. The American Psychological Association defines anxiety as an emotion “characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.”
Like worry and stress, anxiety can be beneficial if it’s provoked by something specific and prompts change – but is not good when it is chronic, generalized, and impairs your ability to function.
Because anxiety is a blend of the physical and the cognitive, addressing it can be approached in those ways as well. The New York Times article suggests following for dealing with the physiological aspects of anxiety:
Limit stimulants like sugar and caffeine. Stimulants can have an impact.
Wiggle your toes… or your fingers. Focusing on a physical sensation can help calm you and break an anxiety loop.
Distract yourself with your senses. Listen to music or a sound, do 30 jumping jacks, or rub something textured, like Velcro, velvet or corduroy.
Nick Wignall addresses the cognitive connection by discussing how worry precedes anxiety. He describes how an external trigger propels a reflexive worry, and how that worry evokes the physical and emotional reaction of anxiety. Once that anxiety has “landed” it’s easy for an overactive mind to add more things to worry about, creating an ongoing narrative and a cycle of anxiety.
What to do?
Awareness. Labeling your anxiety. You’re experiencing an emotion, and it’s okay.
Practice mindfulness. Taking five or 10 minutes to breathe and tune into yourself. Having an app like Calm or Insight Timer at the ready can be helpful in the moment – and a daily practice can help reduce anxiety overall.
Challenge negative thoughts. As I wrote recently, fortune-telling and mind-reading aren’t reality. Try to examine your thoughts,(1) Is it true? And (2) Is it helpful? Witnessing how your thoughts fail this simple test can help reset your mind.
Take steps to control your worry. Understanding that worry is the stepping stone to anxiety – see above!
Ta-da! There’s a nuts & bolts primer on worry, stress and anxiety! While you want to take steps to keep them from overtaking your life, you can’t avoid them altogether – and you don’t want to. While they may be uncomfortable, in moderation, these thoughts and feelings can push you to places you want to go!
